Toxic Friendship
Humans are very social creatures and thus, we all need friends to get by. However, sometimes these friendships can cause us more stress than happiness and that’s definitely something to look out for. Sometimes, it can be hard to acknowledge that you’re surrounded by toxic friends so if you’re struggling with something similar, keep reading this article!
Six signs that your friend is using you
No one wants to be in a one-sided friendship and no one wants to be used by their so-called friends. So, if you think your friend might be using you for the wrong reasons, be on the look-out for these six following signs that you’re dealing with an opportunistic, bad friend!
1.They only reach out when they need something
First of all, the best friendships are basically two-way streets, since both sides need to put in a decent effort. So, when you notice that you always need to take initiative when it comes to hanging out, it might be time to reconsider your friendship. Even more so, when you notice that your friend only reaches out to you when they need your help, that’s a clear sign that they could be using you.
Of course, it should be noted that all friends call each other for help sometimes, that’s the beauty of friendship. However, that situation needs to be distinguished from the situation where your friend never shows interest in helping you when it’s the other way around and only ever calls you up for their benefit
2.They frequently don’t invite you along
Furthermore, another sign that you have a friend who’s using you s is that they don’t invite you along when they meet up with other friends. Of course, you don’t need to be attached to the hip, but when it becomes a regular occurrence that they leave you out, that can really indicate that they don’t really want you around when they don’t particularly need you.
More specifically, alarm bells should definitely be ringing in your head when you notice that your friend goes out of their way to hide it from you when they leave you out. Namely, then your friend is very aware of the fact that they’re being remarkably disrespectful towards you and that’s generally not the kind of person you should maintain a friendship with!
3.They show no interest in your life
This sign might just be the most important of all so it’s really crucial that you talk to your friend when this occurs! That is, you should really re-evaluate your friendship with someone when you notice that this person doesn’t show any interest in your life whatsoever. This type of friend only ever wants to talk about themself and doesn’t know a lot about your lifestyle.
Friendships are all about being there for each other and generally just caring about one another. So, that’s precisely why it’s such a bad sign when your friend doesn’t seem to care about anything that goes on in your life and definitely doesn’t take the time to ask you about your passions and such! Not only does this indicate that they don’t really value your friendship as much as you do, but it also goes to show that they don’t really take you into consideration when they’re not involved.
4.They never seem to be available for you
The next sign that your friend is using you is that they’re never available to meet up when you reach out to them. This is especially the case when you regularly see them hanging out and having fun with other friends. Namely, not only does this really show that they don’t mind making time for other people and not for you, but it also indicates that they don’t really enjoy your company in the slightest. So, this is definitely a red flag that you should look out for when it comes to friendships!
5.You can’t trust them with anything
It shouldn’t come as a surprise that trust is important in any kind of relationship and friendships definitely aren’t an exception to that unwritten rule! So, that’s why it could be a sign that your friend is using you when you can’t really trust them with secrets and other personal thoughts. For example, if they frequently show trouble with keeping your secrets for themselves, this could indicate that they don’t value your friendship enough to make you feel safe and respected.
6.They don’t keep their promises
Last, but certainly not least, when a friend is using you for all the wrong reasons, you’ll find that they will frequently make promises they have no intention of keeping! This might not seem like a very big deal, but it actually is one of the biggest signs that your friendship definitely isn’t up to the mark.
When you’re in a great friendship, you will go out of your way to make the other person happy. So, when your friend makes all these promises to you only to disappoint you when push comes to shove, it’s time to have a serious conversation with them.
Friends who put you down
Besides friends who are using you, there’s also another type of friends that you need to look out for. Namely, sometimes you can have certain friends who constantly put you down, which are about the most toxic type of friends you can have.
Be aware of the warning signs
You might not notice it at first when you have friends who like to put you down. That is, most of the time, it starts with little, subtle comments that they throw your way every now and then. In this phase, you probably won’t think much of it and that’s precisely why it’s so important that you are aware of these warning signs as soon as possible. Namely, from then on, it will only get worse until it gets so bad that you’ll constantly have to deal with negative feelings when you’re around these friends.
So, when this sounds familiar to you, make sure to talk to your friends and other people that you can confide in about it. If it’s really necessary, you should even think about whether you still want to be friends with these kinds of people because no one deserves to be put down constantly. That’s something that you really need to realize: don’t let anyone rain on your parade, not even your “friends”!
What to do when your friends leave you out
Talk to them
First and foremost, when your friends frequently leave you out, you should really start a conversation with them about it. That’s the only way you can know whether you’ve done something wrong or whether they just aren’t willing to put in the same amount of effort in the friendship that you do. Whichever way you choose to look at it, talking openly and honestly about your feelings is really the only way to figure out how you truly stand with the rest of your friends
Focus on other friends
Secondly, if you have other friends that actually do include you when they hang out, it could be beneficial for you to focus on those friends more. This way, you’ll actually feel like there are friends who value your friendship and this will do wonders for your self-confidence, for sure!
Break off the friendship
Lastly, it might be time to break off the friendship when you notice that your friends don’t change and won’t make an effort to make you feel involved again, even after you’ve talked to them about it. Otherwise, you will just be stuck in a negative spiral of feeling bad about yourself without having done anything wrong and most of the time, it’s just not worth it!
How to get your friends back
Of course, some friendships are worth fighting for. However, when you’ve lost contact with certain friends, it’s not always easy to find a way to get them back. So, keep reading if you want some tips in this department!
Give-and-take
The first thing to keep in mind when you want to work on getting your friends back is that it’s all a matter of give-and-take. You need to understand that you both will have to bend a little in order for the other person to feel happy again if you want to get your friendship back on track. Only then will you both now that the other is willing to do what it takes to be good friends again and that’s truly a must to maintain a great friendship!
Talk it out
Again, communication is key, especially when you want to reconcile with your friends. Everyone involved needs to get the opportunity to let their feelings and thoughts be known and basically, everything just needs to be out in the open. That way, you’ll find out what went wrong the first time around and that’s a necessity if you want to do it better the second time around and to generally get your friends back!
Start fresh
Last, but certainly not least, you should really start your friendship with a clean slate again. Once everything is out in the open, it won’t do anyone any good if you’re stuck in the past where it went wrong. No, if you really want to get your friends back, you will need to look forward and focus on the future. As long as everyone is willing to put in the work, you’ll find that getting their friendship back won’t be as hard as you’ve imagined!
